As a 15-year-old born in the U.S., I grew up watching both football and soccer. But my dad? Total soccer guy. He can tell you the offside rule blindfolded but gets completely lost when I try to explain a touchdown. So, here’s my attempt to explain American football to my soccer-loving dad—using the language of soccer.

1. The Field = The Pitch

“Dad, imagine a pitch, but way smaller, shaped like a rectangle, and with lines everywhere. Instead of a goal, there are these big posts shaped like an upside-down ‘Y’ at the ends. That’s where the kicker scores points—kind of like a penalty, but not really.”

2. The Ball = A Weirdly Shaped Soccer Ball

“Okay, the ball isn’t round. It’s shaped like if you squished a soccer ball on the sides and made it pointy at the ends. It’s perfect for throwing but impossible to kick straight—unless you’re the kicker. You’d hate it.”

3. Touchdowns = Goals, but Better

“Instead of scoring in a net, players run the ball into the end zone (basically the last part of the field). Think of it like kicking a soccer ball across the goal line, except they’re holding it, and everyone’s trying to tackle them.”

4. First Downs = Passing to Open Space

“To keep possession, the team has to move the ball forward at least 10 yards in four tries, called downs. It’s like when a team in soccer keeps passing the ball forward to get closer to the goal, except in football, you can get tackled every few seconds.”

5. Tackling = Slightly Legal Fouls

“Speaking of tackling, in football, it’s allowed as long as you’re trying to stop the person with the ball. Imagine slide tackles being legal all the time—your inner soccer referee would lose his mind.”

6. Field Goals = Long-Range Free Kicks

“When the team can’t make it to the end zone, they might try for a field goal. It’s like a free kick, except they have to kick it between the big posts I mentioned earlier. Bonus: there’s no goalie to stop it!”

7. Overtime = Penalty Shootouts Without the Drama

“If the game is tied, they go to overtime, but there’s no back-and-forth scoring like penalties. Each team gets a chance to score, and whoever does it first usually wins.”

8. Halftime = Halftime, but with Bands

“Halftime is the same idea as soccer—time for snacks—but in football, there’s a whole show. Think giant marching bands, crazy choreography, and sometimes even fireworks.”

9. Yellow and Red Cards = Flags

“Instead of cards, the refs throw yellow flags on the field when a player breaks a rule. There’s no equivalent of a red card, though—players just keep getting penalized.”

10. VAR = Instant Replay, but Slower

“Football has instant replay to review plays, kind of like VAR, except everyone takes forever to make a call. Be patient, Dad.”

Final Note

“Dad, I know soccer is your first love, but give football a chance. It’s like soccer, just with more tackling, weird rules, and way too many breaks. I promise, once you watch a few games, you might even yell, ‘Touchdown!’ louder than you yell, ‘¡Gol!’”